First of all: Finding balance is hard when you suffer from Meniere’s Disease. Physically, that is. It’s not what this blog post is about, but I thought I’d put that out there.
It’s also hard to find balance, mentally, when you’re a perfectionist. Not to mention being a writer, as well. You want to write the book. You want to finish it in good time. You want it to be perfect. But you can only really pick two of those things. (unless you’re SuperWriter, which I dunno, you might be. I’m definitely not.) You make goals and fail to meet them, which makes you more pedantic about trying to meet the next goal.
It’s been a demanding year for me; but along with a lot of bad stuff, there’s been a lot of good stuff, too. I’ve been learning that it’s okay to say no to people and things; that I don’t have to wear holes in myself trying to be there for everything and everyone. More importantly, I’ve been learning that it’s okay for me to say no to my own unrealistic expectations. Or even those expectations that weren’t necessarily unrealistic, but turned out to be unexpectedly hard to fulfil because life happened.
November has turned out to be a more demanding month than I expected (and I knew I was going to be doing NaNoWriMo, so perhaps you can just imagine how demanding I already thought it was going to be). Last month, I also signed an audio deal for the rights to the first two City Between Books, Between Jobs and Between Shifts, so there has been a lot to do in sending paperwork back and forth, etc. And while that means there should be audio of those two in the reasonably near future, it’s definitely adding heaps to my pile of things-to-do…
November has also been the month of All The Doctors, where W.R. trots out in search of answers to various health complaints that have been ignored for the last 2-3 years. Some of those answers have been forthcoming, and some have not. Medication has also been forthcoming–and, with it, side effects. That, along with the steady work I’ve been doing on Between Floors, has begun to wear me out.
The upshot of all this added busy-ness is that, unfortunately, Between Floors won’t be out until January. I’m so disappointed with that, but I don’t want to rush this one and put it out while it’s still not ready. There are a lot of threads that need to be pulled together in Between Floors, and I want to do it well. I also want to be able to enjoy writing it–and to enjoy my interactions online as a writer. I love talking to you guys on my Facebook and Twitter, but it feels strained when I’m trying to do too much. I want it to be fun to answer my notifications, not a chore. You all make me laugh, and I want to take time to enjoy that.
I also want to get back some balance in my life. I want to be able to keep this blog updated, to not forget things that I said I’d do, get a little time to learn how to advertise, and maybe a smidge of time to do fun stuff like going to concerts and relaxing with my nephew without always thinking of what I still have to do. I want to enjoy reading again without feeling guilty about not being writing. I also want to do well enough at publishing so that I feel comfortable publishing every four months to six months instead of feeling the rush to try and publish every three months and then feeling guilty because I didn’t manage it (again).
I want a bit of brain space again, and I think I’m finally at the point where I can do that. So I hope it won’t be too disappointing to wait another month for Between Floors–I’m certain the results will be worth it in terms of story and structure, and I want to do this series well. I love it a lot, so I don’t want to mess it up.
So this month, I’m going to stop and rest for a bit, finish reading Intisar Khanani’s amazing Thorn (again), and go enjoy the local show that’s on this weekend. I’m going to let myself say no to a few things that are stressing me out, and take it easy. And I’m going to let myself thoroughly enjoy writing Pet’s adventures Between…
You can keep updated with my progress over on my Author Facebook Page, where I’ll still be regularly posting excerpts, updates, and random music videos that I love. And do look forward to January–I promise it will be worth the wait!